


My little Maenad

by TurningintoR



Series: The Amis each have a reason to want change [2]
Category: Les Misérables (2012)
Genre: Agender Character, Jehan and Grantaire are besties, Jehan's backstory, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-18 23:33:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3588069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurningintoR/pseuds/TurningintoR
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jehan has a secret, a big one. But when he reveal s his secret, thins start to go wrong. Set in the same verse as You Can't Just Kiss It Better. Trigger Warning for Suicide.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My little Maenad

**Author's Note:**

> This is a prequel to You Can't Just Kiss It Better, and it would be good to read this first but then also please read the other fic(s) in this verse :D. This was supposed to be Jehan centric but became about Grantaire too. Trigger Warning for suicide.

Jehan has a secret, a big one. He has no idea what to about it. He can't tell anyone, he's already being bullied for being panromantic and asexual (the brutes who bully him can't comprehend the fact that some people just aren't interested in sex). 

He has two friends who he could tell, Grantaire who's an artist, who he's been friends with since year R (AN: for those who don't know year R is the short form of reception which is the first year of school, ages 4-5 in England. I couldn't resist:D), and Montparnasse who's been his boyfriend on and off for the past two years. Well and Eponine, but she's closer to R and Monty than him. 

There are benefits of being friends with these three, apart from the normal benefits of being friends with someone. Monty's other friends are the largest in the school and no one wants to cross them, and so the bullying has become less frequent now. Grantaire and Eponine are both respected, although most aren't friends with them. 

Jehan's secret is that he's agender. Completely without gender. But many people, including his teachers , don't believe that non binary people exist.

At first he tried to convince himself that he is a boy, that his imagination is just running wild. Pretty quickly he stopped trying to conceive himself and threw himself into research . He went on tumblr blogs (AN: a really good blog is Ask A Non Binary, it has loads of resources and information), websites and forums to learn more about non binary people. He even selected the pronouns that he wanted to use. 

The problem was that he had no idea how any of his friends would react, or what his parents would do. Of course Grantaire had Alex, but it was slightly different having a sister who came out when Grantaire wasn't old enough to really care if his sister was a girl or not. Everyone had been supportive when he'd come out as ace and panro; but different sexualities are almost accepted now. Gender differences aren't really.

\------------------------------

At school he sat quietly ne t to Grantaire during form time. The artist was absorbed in an abstract doodle, and Jehan was picking out shapes from the swirling, hypnotising lines. R bit the end of his pencil and frowned and the bir of paper before him, then looked up at Jehan, "Do you want to come over later, Alex wants to swe you?"  
"Xe's back?" Grantaire confirmed that xe was, and Jehan smiled and agreed, lighting up inside, he could ask Alex for help, xe went through a similar thing when xe was his age.

\------------------------------

Grantaire's parents were missing when they reache d his house. It wasn't in the nicest part of the town, but it was rather big for a town house. 

Inside, Jehan inhaled, loving the familiar scent of paint, pencil shavings, bread and matches. A small figure bounded down the stairs, latching onto Jehan. Alex gave the fiercest hugs ever, almost squeezing the life out of him.

Xe broke away, frowned and looked at him accusingly "How can you still be growing? I hardly grew after Iwas 15," Alexs voice was amused. Jehan at 188 centimetres (6 foot 2 inches) ,over 20 centimetres taller than Alex even though he was 4 years younger he'd always been taller than xir, but never by this much, he just shrugs and smiles. 

Grantaire disappeared into the kitchen, whilst Alex and Jehan went into the sitting room and Sat down in their usual seats. "Alex, how did you tell people that you were agender?" Xe smiled at him.  
"I told the people with the most open minds first. That was my brother and you. Don't worry, I know he'll support you whoever you are", Jehan sighed in relief, it was different having actual confirmation of his hope, rather th an just believing. He knew Grantaire was fine with his sister.

"What pronouns would you like me to use for you?" Xe asked, Jehan smiled xe had always been like a sister to him. "Xe/xir/xirself, like you," xe said beaming. Xe felt a warm glow inside when xe realised that xe didn't have to deny xirself any longer. At that moment Grantaire appeared.

"Good on you mate. But I vantage believe you didn't ctell me first," he put a hand over his heart and pretended to look hurt. "Grantaire just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon, it doesn't mean everyone does. Maybe Jehan wanted to tell someone xe trusted as xe was worried what they'd think." 

"Hang in, did you just Hermione Granger me?" His eyes were wide, with a mischievous glrmeam in them. Alex nodded, still smirking. Grantaire launched himself at Alex and started to tickle xir. Jehan laughed, feeling relived. This was why he loved Grantaire and Alex, they took everything in their stride , making xir feel more at home here than anywhere else. 

\-------------------------------

Jehan decide to stay at Grantaire's . Having stayed there so often in the past, xe had extra clothes and a tooth brush there. He tested his parents to let them know, reviving 'ok, love you sweetie xxx' in return.

Grantaire and Jehan had a thing for drawing on skin (although Jehan wouldn't ever claim to be as good as Grantaire, the boy was ab artistic genius) and so by the time they went to bed, they were both completely covered in doodles. 

\-------------------------------

Jehan and Grantaire both decided to go to university in Paris, both loving France (and both were part French). They spent the summer awaiting their A level results and decorating Grantaire's flat in Paris. He hadn't bought it, it was a random cousin's old place, which Alex had sorted out for him (it was tiny with only one bedroom but Jehan didn't mind not sharing), spending days going to and from Paris while Jehan and Grantaire finished there exams. 

\------------------------ In the last week before the university started, Jehan and Grantaire were spending their last night in England at Grantaire's house. The night was unbearably hot. Typically when England had a hot summer, it was blisteringly hot, in the thirties for weeks. Used to normal temperatures of 10-15 °c , Jehan couldn't sleep. Grantaire was fast asleep on his bed, with a sheet twisted around his middle cans nothing else. Jehan envied him. Xe was never able to sleep when the weather was this hot. Xe stood up and went downstairs to get a drink. On xir way back up, xe spotted a piece of paper stuck to the bathroom door. Xe tugging it off and squinted to read it, xir eyes widening in horror. Xe pushed open the bathroom door. Inside, wearing girls boxer shorts, a binder and a film of sticky red fluid was Alex, staring up at the ceiling blankly. Xe dropped the glass in shock. The tinkling of broken glass seemed to wake the entire house up. Soon Grantaire and his parents were in the bathroom. When Grantaire saw his sister, he dropped to his knees , ignoring the glass. His parents called the police and an ambulance, and Jehan lead him back to his room. They clutched each other until the dawn rose, and with it a beautiful clear day, with a cool breeze, breaking the heat wave, but without any rain with it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I'll hopefully have focal for the other characters soon.


End file.
